John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important,… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue) — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
![“He [Groucho's father] had absolutely no training, and if you had ever seen one of his suits, you'd realize what an accurate statement that is. You see, Pop never used a tape measure. He didn't believe in it. He said he could just look at a man and tell hi.” quote by Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/02f/groucho-marx-788_accurate_he-groucho-s-father-had-absolutely-no-tr_22161.jpg)
