Cocaine was different. It kept saying, "You haven't had enough." I became an abuser almost instantly. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I had run away from home three times. I had been kicked out of three different schools under different circumstances. I was… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone. Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You ever notice that? Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing — George Carlin Copy Share Image
All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I often wonder how different the world would be if Hitler had not been turned down when he applied to art school. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I like to write without being stoned. I like to have a hit or two and then go punch up the writing.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
