"Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because I have been saying, for the longest time, that president Bush must set… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To me, being brave is an element that is so important with stand-up comedy. It's not essential. There are many comics who… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has a pack in his back, my answer… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
