My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow... he wasn't evil or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The idea of a world where all people are alike - in wealth or in anything else - is a fantasy for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.' — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
