“Bricks could have been used to stop Napoleon’s army from advancing into Russia. And blankets could have been used to keep Napoleon… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be exchanged for a bar of gold. But be sure you wait until the owner of the gold isn’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket can be rolled up, much like I roll up my emotions when I listen to political rhetoric. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The essence of courage is timing. Take me, for example. I’ll show up to fight anybody, anywhere. I’ll just show up a… — Jarod Kintz Courage Copy Share Image
“After being videotaped, I found that I talk a lot with my hands. Especially if my hands are covered with socks. I… — Jarod Kintz Nervous Copy Share Image
“I heard you calling out to me, but I almost didn’t reply because you were using another guy’s name.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to destroy your mannequin lover. It’s the only proper thing to do. Remember, I was the one… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I’m not eating, sleeping, working, or doing a hundred other things, I’m making love. I need to arrange my priorities. Sleeping… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Most people go to networking events to gain visibility. But in a crowded room, I’m trying to figure out how to become… — Jarod Kintz Networking Copy Share Image
“I’ve got a sizeable retirement nest egg. It’s an ostrich egg, and it’s going to make an omelet so big that it’ll… — Jarod Kintz Food Copy Share Image
“A brick represents my rationality, and a blanket represents my emotions. It’s robot versus mannequin, and to get a sense of who… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am quite possibly the world's bravest coward. I have never backed down from backing down from a fight.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I could, I’d eat love for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And for in-between snacks, I’d eat passion fruit.” — Jarod Kintz Food Copy Share Image
“I make love sensually, and without the aid of a fancy recipe. I just open the box, add water, stir a bit,… — Jarod Kintz Food Copy Share Image
“I once got 7th place in a swim meet. Being top 8 is an accomplishment, especially when you consider that including me,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a secret handshake, like the Masons. Except mine is like a true secret in that nobody else knows about it,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Experience counts for something. I count with my fingers. I could count on you, but you’ve only got one finger for me… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I talk about talking like I listen to listening—in a room with mirrored walls that makes me appreciate the infinity that is… — Jarod Kintz Communication Copy Share Image
“In a blind study conducted by jarodkintz.com, 8 out of 10 people were fans of Helen Keller. 2 out of the 10… — Jarod Kintz Education Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I asked you out to coffee, and you said, “No thanks. I’m a recovering insomniac.” I… — Jarod Kintz Dreams Copy Share Image
“I would have sex in the backseat of my car, but from back there, how would I be able to hit the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Contribute to No More Lies Dot Org. Every dollar you donate will bring us 75 cents closer to the truth.” — Jarod Kintz Truth Copy Share Image
“Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to buy “A Touch of Gray,” because I’d look more distinguished with a touch of gray in my hair. Also,… — Jarod Kintz Gray hair Copy Share Image
“I’m twice as old as she is tall. She’s half my age in height. We have a David and Goliath kind of… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“A good day is when the Oscar Meyer hotdogmobile crashes into a truck carrying Heinz ketchup, because who doesn’t like free hotdogs… — Jarod Kintz Food Copy Share Image
“There were yogurt-colored clouds that afternoon, and I was there, blotting out your sun with a spoon.” — Jarod Kintz Sun Copy Share Image
“Mr. Williquosi, I didn’t mean to stab you in your gums with your fork. I was merely trying to spoon-feed you information.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There are so many cheeses that I can't keep track of all their names. The dairy farmers should simplify things and name… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If it’s not already written, I want to write a book called, “The Art of Raw.” But instead of using my real… — Jarod Kintz Art Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to silence your critics. Think of it like a really thick and unchewy piece of chewing gum. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat breakfast.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I often feel like a camel in the mountains, and a goat in the desert. Ah, but that’s life, no?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what… — Jarod Kintz Loser Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a mule. Sure, you could argue it’d be better used as a donkey, but I’d counter… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nobody is mysteriously mysterious. To be mysterious all it takes is hard work, misdirection, and a fog machine.” — Jarod Kintz Computers Copy Share Image
“I make music like I make love—in a group. OK, so I’m not in a band, and I sing alone in the… — Jarod Kintz Music Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to mimic the mating call of my crumpled-up clone. Isn’t silence seductive? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I asked the girl at the coffee shop out on a date. Unfortunately she said no, probably because I asked her out… — Jarod Kintz Coffee shop Copy Share Image
