“Sell canoes to those who are enduring a drought, and sell sunscreen to those suffering from flooding. But give love freely to… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me… — Jarod Kintz Management Copy Share Image
“I’d rather own something that’s worth millions to nobody, than something that’s worth nothing to millions.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a substitute for the steak my mother-in-law just cooked me. And I asked for medium rare.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to tell you I love you. You know I do. And I’m not just saying that because… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“An author named Arthur Arthurson would write about art, love, and road kill in Kenya. And I’d read him because I’m a… — Jarod Kintz Art Copy Share Image
“I’m so silent I can hardly hear myself think. But that’s why I bought the scissors and the condom.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a trophy at your company’s annual award ceremony. It’s a way to save money while making… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A smile is like a simile, if you have a mouth like a metaphor. That would make for like the best kiss… — Jarod Kintz Kiss Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to sell a blanket, in a buy one get one free situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I know sex sells. I also know gametes are sex cells. Her and I had chemistry together, and that’s just biology.” — Jarod Kintz Sex sells Copy Share Image
“Everything I learned in school, mixed together with water and chicken broth, isn’t worth the soup served at a soup kitchen. I… — Jarod Kintz Education Copy Share Image
“The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break),… — Jarod Kintz Forgetting Copy Share Image
“I don’t know the man standing next to me in the mirror. He looks like me, so is he my clone? He… — Jarod Kintz Clone Copy Share Image
“I have thin lips, like two rose petals on top of each other, and I would say I have a Roman nose,… — Jarod Kintz Latin Copy Share Image
“Let the best of your competition take out the rest of your competition, while you rest and then take out only that… — Jarod Kintz Competition Copy Share Image
“After about eight hours, I lose my focus and all of the sudden I find myself not being able to sleep at… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some people work in the medical field, others in the legal field, while I work in the green field. Except in winter,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pulled to be opened.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If we were to kiss passionately for 30 minutes, would you refill my oxygen tank in the process?” — Jarod Kintz Kiss Copy Share Image
“What do I do for fun? Well, I’d love to get into the bank robbing business, but government work is not for… — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“I can take care of myself, but I can’t take care of myself and a child. I’ve decided to give myself up… — Jarod Kintz Adoption Copy Share Image
“William Penn would be a great pen name. But for love letters to manicured lawns, trees, and benches, the best name would… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“While all men want to be free, some want to be free to think what they want, and other men want to… — Jarod Kintz Free thought Copy Share Image
“I’m wise when it comes to your issues, and a fool when it comes to mine. Emotion is the blindfold we cannot… — Jarod Kintz Emotion Copy Share Image
“If my name were Theodore Tiffany, my goal in life would be to meet and marry a woman named Tiffany Theodore. I… — Jarod Kintz Goals Copy Share Image
“My plan to live from 65 to forever is to simply keep showing up. I also don’t want to retire at the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I would never date Austin. Not that it’s gay, but it’s simply too densely populated for a relationship.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I go to networking events because what else am I going to do? I’ve already finished my daily planning for how to… — Jarod Kintz Networking Copy Share Image
“Some events in your life leave a lasting impression. A thing that majorly impacted my life was the car that hit me… — Jarod Kintz Impacted Copy Share Image
“His last name was Worthless. Or was that just the perfect word to describe him? Shouldn’t our names summarize who we are?… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Give people a little, and they’ll want a lot. Give them a lot, and they’ll only want a little.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Instead of a motorcycle gang, I’m thinking of starting up a unicycle gang. We’ll be hell on wheel. (My first recruit will… — Jarod Kintz Motorcycle Copy Share Image
“Love is like a corn-dog popsicle, and I’m on the Most Wanted list. Unfortunately it’s by the government, specifically the FDA, and… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Black clothing makes me look skinnier. If I wear all black at night, and turn out the lights, I look so skinny… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
