If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If the loser keeps his smile, the winner will loose the thrill of victory. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are thoughtful... when you see me just as I am and treat me just as you are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Mostly all famous inventions start off as an accidents. For instance, my invention of running over cats. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If A Girl Talks Sweetly She Is Charming If A Boy Talks Sweetly He Is A Flirt — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Instead of raising awareness for bullying, how about parents just stop raising assholes? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They say you can never win from a woman in an arguement, I say you can never win from a woman in… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Leo and she's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If my tweets offend you: 1. I'm sorry. 2. It won't happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You're a pussy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, That delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock {John Barrymore}; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This Is The Beginning Of A New Day! You Have Been Given This Day To Use As You Will! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, you are delusional if you think you can give me a hand job better than I can. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I was a serial killer I'd use my knife to make strangers kiss in front of me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are free... when you are in control of yours lf and do not wish to control others. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall … And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch …… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Idiots don't know they are idiots, I know I am an idiot therefore I am not an idiot ;) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, A lady who is much like an angler -- each think the best one got away; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern . — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
