Witty Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 16

LOVE, The only game that two can play and both win;

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The crocodile in the river of desire;

— Nikhil Saluja

This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end.

— Nikhil Saluja

If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill.

— Nikhil Saluja

If my zipper is down, that's my problem, you didn't see anything!

— Nikhil Saluja

I drank so much beer that I feel like I can ejaculate a unicorn in full sprint.

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl will bring you breakfast in bed. A lady will be your breakfast in bed.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

— Nikhil Saluja

People on a diet should have a salad dressing called 250 Islands.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, PERFECT, is, in a man's second marriage, her first mate

— Nikhil Saluja

When it comes to sex, most women are like the government. All talk, no action.

— Nikhil Saluja

Of course my clothes are on the floor. I'm a guy, that is where I hang them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Conference: One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

— Nikhil Saluja

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

— Nikhil Saluja

If the loser smiles after losing the game, the winner loses the thrill of his victory!! That's the power of Smile !!

— Nikhil Saluja

Snoring is your body's way of telling everyone not to disturb me asshole can't you see we are sleeping.

— Nikhil Saluja

I scream, you scream, both of us scream because we are being murdered while eating ice cream.

— Nikhil Saluja

If A Girl Is Silent She Is Feeling Sad If A Boy Is Silent He Is Being Rude

— Nikhil Saluja

Wedding dresses are white so the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge.

— Nikhil Saluja

A woman can say more in a retweet, than a man can say in a tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

The hardest thing about losing your short term memory is… 'Happy Birthday' Yes it's someone's Happy Birthday isn't o_O

— Nikhil Saluja

Everything is forgivable if you leave after a one night stand, as long as you were good in bed.

— Nikhil Saluja

Women love sex in the dark because they can't stand to see a man have a good time.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, An investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the interest.

— Nikhil Saluja

A woman will watch the game with you. The perfect woman will watch it on top of you.

— Nikhil Saluja

Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

A ghost could be humping you right now and you would never know.

— Nikhil Saluja

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

— Nikhil Saluja

I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we dont talk, he works out alone, and I go home.

— Nikhil Saluja

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just need a search engine that'll remember exactly what I was about to Google when I forget.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which a woman gives the best years of her life to the man that made them so;

— Nikhil Saluja

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

— Nikhil Saluja

Gasp Reflex : The reaction of a new father when he sees the new mother's breasts.

— Nikhil Saluja

Looking at all the chances I was too afraid to take and the people I was too scared to admit my feelings…

— Nikhil Saluja