Twitter Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 27

Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

Inspirational tweet of the day: If you ever feel like you're about to do something you're going to regret later, do it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred;

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness;

— Nikhil Saluja

A little conflicted. The guy ran into my car because he was favoriting my tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

— Nikhil Saluja

You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions.

— Nikhil Saluja

It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know.

— Nikhil Saluja

Tweeting all your personal issues and accusing people of stalking is like getting naked on street and calling people perverts.

— Nikhil Saluja

The quickest way to get someones attention is to no longer want it.

— Nikhil Saluja

My grandfather died during sex. I still cry when I watch the video.

— Nikhil Saluja

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging.

— Nikhil Saluja

I rather be hated for who I am, then to be loved for who I am not.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I was a serial killer I'd use my knife to make strangers kiss in front of me.

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife is so bad at sex, I close my eyes and pretend she's my hand.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I just wish I could disappear for a while to a place where nothing can go wrong in life.

— Nikhil Saluja

There are exceptions is new replyback when someone disagree with your tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are free... when you are in control of yours lf and do not wish to control others.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you post too much inspirational tweets, I'm reporting you for inappropriate activity.

— Nikhil Saluja

Things shall fall into its perfect place, in the perfect time, at a perfect setting that you will always be able to…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you're not following me yet, hopefully reading this tweet will convince you.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you see me rushing to take out my phone to type something don't freak out, I just thought of a tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you're ever feeling down, just remember that I'll always be there to feel you up.

— Nikhil Saluja

Crisis: When dinner is ready, I CRISIS, and my sister comes running.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be…

— Nikhil Saluja

You can't spell love without I want to jump off a fucking bridge.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't have a great sense of humor, but I do have a great sense of nonsense.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes, the only thing left to do is to let go even if it's the hardest thing to do.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you try to be different, you are being like everyone else. Being yourself is what makes you different.

— Nikhil Saluja

The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together.

— Nikhil Saluja

I asked a lady on the street for directions. I know women have no sense of direction, I just wanted to look…

— Nikhil Saluja

Girls with no ass probably typed LMAO wayyyy too many times on Facebook.

— Nikhil Saluja

In my version of volleyball I use my legs and also don't play volleyball.

— Nikhil Saluja

Joan Rivers turned into one of the people she used to make fun of.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit.

— Nikhil Saluja

My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me.

— Nikhil Saluja