I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
I'm one of the people who actually laughs at everyone else's jokes! — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips Copy Share Image
All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
I think one of my first jokes - in the black community, there's people who have jokes about skin tone. People like,… — Hannibal Buress Copy Share Image
Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
My own personal rule is to tell jokes that I think the person I'm making them about can laugh at, to go… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
The reasons I never set out to do a talk show is they're formulaic. People come out, tell jokes and read questions.… — Harry Connick, Jr Copy Share Image
My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
I suppose I'm going on stage and making jokes about the fact that the audience are expecting the show to be about… — Andrew Lawrence Copy Share Image
All the time the joke is that the word "mine" in its fully possessive sense cannot be uttered by a human being… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
The British often shy away from any cinematic interpretation of real sex. They sometimes have what I call "subtle sex," which is… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
“One day you’re going to see her holding hands with someone who took your chance. She won’t even notice you because she’s… — Elisabeth Van den Abeele Copy Share Image
They all think any minute I'm going to commit suicide. What a joke. The truth of course is the exact opposite: suicide… — Walker Percy Copy Share Image
They tell us that we live in a great free republic; that our institutions are democratic; that we are a free and… — Eugene V. Debs Copy Share Image
I know 9 things about you right now. 1. You are reading this. 2. You are human. 3. You can't say the… — Zak Copy Share Image
In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
If nothing is delightful without love and jokes, then live in love and jokes. — Horace Copy Share Image
The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar. — Sam Ewing Copy Share Image
It's easy for someone to joke about scars if they've never been cut. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Your mama so fat, I took a picture with her last christmas and it's still printing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It doesn't feel like you're preaching, if you can say something in a joke. — Martin McDonagh Copy Share Image
There is nothing in the world so incomprehensible as the joke we do not see. — Agnes Repplier Copy Share Image
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. — Larry David Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasn't my fault they don't have Windows. — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Unrequited love is a billion times less intolerable than unrequited hate.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
![“[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him.” quote by Susan Elizabeth Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/e14/susan-elizabeth-phillips-815_bobby_bobby-tom-finally-understood-gracie-s-fu_3093234.jpg)
![“All the time the joke is that the word "mine" in its fully possessive sense cannot be uttered by a human being about anything. In the long run either [Satan] or God will say "mine" of each thing that exists, and specially of each man.” quote by C. S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/eea/c-s-lewis-2-132_gods-will_all-the-time-the-joke-is-that-the-word-m_2193820.png)
