Years ago I was a runway model, and I used to get laughs. I thought it was a joke anyway — Nora Dunn Copy Share Image
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Korean feminism has been swept away by popular culture. It became a sort of old-fashioned trend or a joke. — Kim Hyesoon Copy Share Image
Dwarves are still the butt of jokes. It's one of the last bastions of acceptable prejudice. — Peter Dinklage Copy Share Image
I may make jokes about Microsoft at times, but at the same time, I think the Microsoft hatred is a disease. — Linus Torvalds Copy Share Image
I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much — Don Adams Copy Share Image
I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
He's managed to make himself something highly unusual for a man at this stage of his career: unclassifiable. Unpredictable. Tom Jones is… — Ken Tucker Copy Share Image
My goal is to get on the national team. People joke that we'll be able to go to Beijing in 2008, but… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put… — Ziggy Marley Copy Share Image
An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the… — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
The most important thing in comedy - apart from empathy, which I think is important even if disguised - is surprise. I… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say don't and if he touches your pussy say stop? Girl: But mom, he touched… — Unkown Copy Share Image
I've always been jealous of people who can tell stories really well in a room with a bunch of people. I've never… — Brendan Benson Copy Share Image
I try to be personal, but that's not me, either. What seems to work best, and the tweets I enjoy reading the… — John Cho Copy Share Image
People always joke that 'dog' spells 'god' backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see… — Linda Blair Copy Share Image
You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The majority of the filmmaking process is in pre-production. The more you've planned out the more freedom there is on set to… — Vin Diesel Copy Share Image
Yeah, man. It's time to let de people get good herbs and smoke. Government's a joke. All dey wan' is ya smoke… — Bob Marley Copy Share Image
It's not like we have a formula, but I think one of the reasons this show has survived is that it has… — Trey Parker Copy Share Image
BONANZA * BONANZA * BONANZA The BONANZA IS HERE AGAIN!!! You don't wanna miss out the fun this season as several lucky… — Horla Copy Share Image
Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes. — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
Fun prank idea: Replace all of the songs on someone's iPod with the Kid Bop versions — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous. — David Cross Copy Share Image
Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We all hate it when we're joking around with our parents and then it turns into a life lesson. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes during all those laughs, long talks, silly little fights and inside jokes, I fell in love… — Ritu Copy Share Image
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“No, we’re the two old Muppets on the balcony, cracking lame jokes.” — Kim Stanley Robinson Copy Share Image
You can make dark, sinister, weird jokes without being deeply offensive. — Rebecca Front Copy Share Image
As though all the world were a bad joke and she was the only one around who knew the punchline. — Jack Ketchum Copy Share Image
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, because I am still looking for ideas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend…With my car. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
