I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
There are elements of that, where you'll see a scene again and you'll recognize it, but I wouldn't say it's got one… — Mitchell Hurwitz Copy Share Image
But while I'd be their daughter, while I'd eat the roast and come home from dates and wash the dishes, I would… — Judy Blundell Copy Share Image
One day... A nude guy was sunbathing on a beach... He has no clothes at all and there came this little girl… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch… — Mike Epps Copy Share Image
The difficulty in the way of writing a children's play is that Barrie was born too soon. Many people must have felt… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The movie studios, they only like to make - I make a joke, but it's true - if the movie has the… — Rob Reiner Copy Share Image
He was the class clown, the court jester, because he'd learn early that if you cracked jokes and pretended you weren't scared,… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“I was thinking we could get a picture of you holding a pitchfork or something. Maybe a big wooden cross? Sound good?"(Brian)… — Stacia Kane Copy Share Image
Who could quarrel with Clark Gable? We got on well. Whenever anyone on the set was tired or depressed, it was Gable… — Vivien Leigh Copy Share Image
Be prepared to cut your little extra lines that come after a big punchline and move on to the next joke or… — Franklyn Ajaye Copy Share Image
I try not to be mean for the sake of being mean, and if I do do a joke or a tweet… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
By giving women training to sue a company for a 'hostile environment' if someone tells a dirty joke, we are training women… — Warren Farrell Copy Share Image
I would love to be able to play anywhere, but to me the sweet spot is clubs and theaters, just because I… — Michael Che Copy Share Image
Either over neither, both over either/or, live-and-let-live over stand-or die, high spirits over low, energy over apathy, wit over dullness, jokes over… — Marvin Mudrick Copy Share Image
One starts gambling for a joke, out of curiosity, as a little challenge to fortune. One goes on, pricked to the quick… — Matilde Serao Copy Share Image
Looking back, I remember my family laughing a lot. We were never the kind of people that dwelled on hard times. My… — Cristela Alonzo Copy Share Image
Small Man can be a very funny or a very tiresome Tour Companion, depending on how this kind of thing grabs you.… — Diana Wynne Jones Copy Share Image
[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
He [Reagan] likes to tell jokes and that's why he told the ethnic joke that got him into some trouble. Perhaps if… — Robert Scheer Copy Share Image
A lot of comics aren't their on-screen personas; Chris Rock isn't always ranting and raving. What I do is make myself this… — Billy Eichner Copy Share Image
I remember what J. Golden Kimball said when he came down to the stake where I was presiding. I introduced him as… — Hugh B. Brown Copy Share Image
And yes, my plan will continue to reduce the carbon pollution that is heating our planet - because climate change is not… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
I'm definitely not gonna make a joke about separating the whites and colours, so don't try to make me. So instead, I'll… — Toby Turner Copy Share Image
One of my favorite things on the show was just getting to do my own monologue and talking about someone who killed… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I often joke with my audiences that I make most of my income on a ski pole. People smile but they get… — Robin Sharma Copy Share Image
I really like intimate venues because it feels like everyone in the audience is in on all our inside jokes. We could… — BØRNS Copy Share Image
Am I lonely? Yes. Am I upset? Yes. Am I confused? Yes. Do I have my days when I've thrown a little… — Jennifer Aniston Copy Share Image
I used to forget that I was an Indian woman. I would even forget that I was a woman. I don't think… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup,… — John Oliver Copy Share Image
I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude… — Jack Whitehall Copy Share Image
There's a joke about the balloon boy who has a balloon mum and a balloon dad and he goes to a balloon… — Gabrielle Williams Copy Share Image
What people who don't write don't understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don't. It… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“I’m relieved to see that even brilliant physicists make mistakes.” Kohler looked over. “What do you mean?” “Whoever wrote that note made… — Dan Brown Copy Share Image
I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my… — Marlo Thomas Copy Share Image
The thing you start noticing as books go by, is that you become aware not only of a shape of a career,… — Nathan Englander Copy Share Image
![“[There's] a joke that I've done forever: 'Nowadays they say that the largest majority of people will be Latino and you'll tell scary stories to your grandkids: "A long time ago when I was growing up, there used to be people who were white," and the kid says, "Really?" and you say, "Yeah, like the…” quote by George Lopez](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/f96/george-lopez-3932_cutting_there-s-a-joke-that-i-ve-done-forever-no_1664664.jpg)
![“He [Reagan] likes to tell jokes and that's why he told the ethnic joke that got him into some trouble. Perhaps if reporters didn't overreact to a politician's telling the very same joke they routinely hear and tell in the city room, we'd get more humor.” quote by Robert Scheer](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/17c/robert-scheer-12420_american-politics_he-reagan-likes-to-tell-jokes-and-that-s_773713.jpg)
![“Am I lonely? Yes. Am I upset? Yes. Am I confused? Yes. Do I have my days when I've thrown a little pity party for myself? Absolutely. But I'm also doing really well. I'd be a robot if I said I didn't feel moments of anger, of hurt, of embarrassment... [but] You joke and say, 'What doesn't kill you…” quote by Jennifer Aniston](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/457/jennifer-aniston-1109_confused_am-i-lonely-yes-am-i-upset-yes-am-i-conf_2751646.jpg)
