Life as such has to be taken as a cosmic joke - and then suddenly you relax because there is nothing to… — Rajneesh Copy Share Image
Youre so ugly, when you were born, the doctor said Wheres the baby? Youre so ugly, when you were born, your parents… — Curly Copy Share Image
You've noticed that same joke told by two different people, once works, and the other time doesn't, simply because how the person… — Abbas Kiarostami Copy Share Image
I did get good enough to get on HBO's Young Comedians Special, but I certainly wasn't the person who got launched off… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
Finnick:" Good to see you, Peeta." Peeta:" You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
I went to London a lot as a young designer because London was a major inspiration, not only for the clothes but… — Jean Paul Gaultier Copy Share Image
It's a great historical joke that when the Spanish met the Aztecs, it was a blind date made in serve-you-right heaven. At… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Whereupon a strange euphoria came over me. Not only was I exiled, paralyzed, mute, half deaf, deprived of all pleasures, and reduced… — Jean-Dominique Bauby Copy Share Image
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come… — Jokes4all Copy Share Image
My grandfather used to say 'Eat the biggest crabs first, that way you're always eating the biggest crabs.' In making a TV… — Jonathan Groff Copy Share Image
It’s the strangest thing about this church - it is obsessed with sex, absolutely obsessed. Now they will say we, with our… — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
“The historian Meike Wöhlert has analyzed and compared the judgments rendered by courts responsible for malicious acts of treason in five cities.… — Rudolph Herzog Copy Share Image
“The things about which we most often jest are generally, on the contrary, the things that worry us but that we do… — Marcel Proust Copy Share Image
Even when there's not a joke or a hook, the first line has to be good and snapem to attention. Songs ain't… — Dan Bern Copy Share Image
Jokes often arise involuntarily, like dreams, and tend to be swiftly forgotten. From these similarities Freud inferred that jokes and dreams share… — Jim Holt Copy Share Image
“Comrades, we are going to try to cheer you up, and our sense of humor will help us in this endeavor, although… — Rudolph Herzog Copy Share Image
The humanists' replacement for religion: work really hard and somehow you'll either save yourself or you'll be immortal. Of course, that's a… — David Bowie Copy Share Image
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done You can tune me out, you can click me… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks.… — Brendon Urie Copy Share Image
The good thing about being in advertising was a lot of the skills cross over: you have to be accountable for your… — Victor Levin Copy Share Image
I think one of my favorite pieces I've ever done on the show which was about Hezbollah Israel conflict in 2006 and… — Aasif Mandvi Copy Share Image
Nate Silver says this is a 73.6 percent chance that the president is going to win? Nobody in that campaign thinks they… — Joe Scarborough Copy Share Image
The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The place that I worked I used to joke about it. There was a, every morning at 10:30 I'd come into work… — Al Kooper Copy Share Image
If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
I think the saddest moments in life have humor in them. I have a memory of coming home from a funeral with… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
I believe fully in making fun of children. I believe very strongly that you should never make fun of an embryo or… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
In almost every interview someone asks what does HIM stand for. I can't even remember our latest lie about that. When Hanson… — Ville Valo Copy Share Image
Doing nothing about climate change is still a fairly common affliction, even in this day and age. What to do with those… — Franny Armstrong Copy Share Image
How you speak and the words you use tell much about the image you choose to portray. Use language to build and… — Thomas S. Monson Copy Share Image
You think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think people take Blink-128 more seriously now than they did before. And it's largely our fault because we called our records… — Mark Hoppus Copy Share Image
We see how popular Bernie Sanders was, and it might have mattered. It might have made that Democrat ticket a little bit… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
There is always the risk: something is good and good and good and good, and then all at once it gets awkward.… — John Green Copy Share Image
The audience today has heard every joke. They know every plot. They know where you're going before you even start. That's a… — Betty White Copy Share Image
I tell this joke about Barack Obama is the best communicator of our generation: The guy reads a teleprompter better than any… — Frank Luntz Copy Share Image
Santa waiting at bus stop in UK along with 3 women. When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more,… — Butterfly_Kisses Copy Share Image
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in… — Syntific Copy Share Image
If you'd asked me then if I saw how big 'The Steve Harvey Morning Show' was going to be, I couldn't tell… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
