Prostitutes are way better than marriage. Why buy a whole cow, when you only want a glass of milk? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Open your eyes, close your mouth; See the flies, froze your laugh, cuz you now in dustbin — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not a bad student, my study breaks are just longer than my study time! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think I'm addicted to Twitter. Ive starting losing interest in convos that go over 140 characters. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I make my life a living hell by writing complex stories with complex characters. But I love it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Memorial Day to someone who would stab himself in the leg to avoid military service. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't understand how some people have the courage to tell their crush they like them. I don't even have the courage… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thinks its funny when girls use slutty profile pics to get attention, might as well have a status that says my shit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your day be touched with sunshine your heart overflow with love & your soul sing with hope. May everything in your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when your trying to watch something, and your entire family decide to have a competition of who can be the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Reason why I'm single 1) I can't date myself 2) I can't date my celebrity crush 3) I can't date food 4)… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Stop waiting around for Prince Charming. Get up and go find him, the poor idiot is probably stuck in a tree somewhere...haha:) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder; how many other girls he is texting while he's texting me... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My dog thinks hes soo popular.. whenever the doorbell rings he always assumes its for him! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gather the crumbs of happiness and they will make you a loaf of contentment. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on running a marathon without having to stop for a heart attack. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy- *Texts sweet stuff.* Girl-You're so sweet! Girl- *Texts sweet stuff.* Boy- Ok. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to be leglislation against it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend helps you up when you get knocked down, a true friend says "Stay down, I got this." — Anonymous Copy Share Image
L hate that feeling you get when you have an insanely good comeback .. but it's way after the argument. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Good morning guys haha I just got up lol what time is it were you guys live? Here it's 10:30 lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girlfriend took a pregnancy test today, and my worst fears have been realized.. she's just fat.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wanna hear a joke about your girlfriend's p*ssy? Nevermind, you'll never get it... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are pigs; their every actions and thoughts is dictated by their penis. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Math, I am sick and tired of finding your X. Just accept the fact that she is gone. MOVE ON DUDE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someday's I wish I had a crappy education so your grammar wouldn't bother me so much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
