Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Twitter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ok summer I'm sorry for bad mouthing you bout being so hot, can you come back?? Its freakin cold! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher:Why are you chewing gum in my class?!?! Me:Dude, chill, it's gum, not cocaine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the father! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never ever apologize for saying what you feel. That's like saying sorry for being real. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just tried to kill a bug with hairspray, it didn't die, but its hair looked fabulous. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're ever shot dead in an East Coast-West Coast rap war, I hope it's after you've recorded over 10 years worth… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry your decision to quietly change your relationship status was broadcast to every single one of your Facebook friends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
From a girl's point of view, guys always chase sluts and hoes. From a guy's point of view, girls always chase jerks… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Want someone to stop texting you? send em this text: SERVICE ERROR 56: MESSAGE DELIVERY FAILED. FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED TO… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was in the hospital today and saw this cute guy with a cast on his leg and my first thought was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just read an article on the dangers of drinking.Scared the shit out of me.So that's it!After today no more reading. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's your 60th birthday! Did you hear me? Hey...'It's your 60th birthday!' Hope your year is better than those ears! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
