My Hanukkah wish is to be in a relationship that lasts longer than eight days. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you try to high five someone and you both miss. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your wedding day is an important milestone in my self-loathing as a single person. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm glad Ashton Kutcher found a job where I know I can avoid seeing him. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some days I think that I would be much happier if I were single...and all the other days I know it for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't judge anybody until you've walked a mile in their shoes. After that it doesn't matter, because they're a mile away and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This blonde chick called me the other day. I couldn't stop laughing at her, because the first thing she said was, can… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You Can Never Control Who You Fall In Love Even Your In The Most Sad Confused Times Of Your Life, You Don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's hope by next Columbus Day all Americans have better health care options than the crew of a 1492 second-hand cargo ship. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Doing nothing is impossible. Youre always breathing. When youre dead youre being dead. Then when I answer the phone and someone asks… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being on birth control means I can stop worrying about an unplanned pregnancy and focus entirely on worrying about achieving an orgasm. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey, I just met you. And this crazy. But here's my number. So call me maybe? Admit it, you didn't just read… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
