The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everybody can see it but only you can feel the warmth.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm so glad your birthday will bring together all our friends at a time when my tan is fully realized. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Even though you're now highly educated, don't dismiss the advantage of dressing a little slutty for job interviews. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Chuck E. Cheese's, If you don't want your patrons stage diving, and mosh pitting during the show, you shouldn't have hired… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's give thanks there isn't a parade where straight guys feel comfortable enough to take off their shirts and dance. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everyone knows cats are on a higher level of existence. These silly humans are just too big-headed to admit their inferiority. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Best friends are those who, when you show up at their door with a dead body, say nothing, grab a shovel, and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
