If you ever get caught sleeping on the job...slowly raise your head and say 'In Jesus name, amen.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repair man arrives — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In movies when people go underwater, I like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes its not the person you miss, it's the feeling you had when you were with them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk has to explain what he was doing to the cow. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always wanted to know how long 'forever' was and by looking at some people's relationships, it's around 3 to 4 weeks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Thank you.” A bright blush stained her cheeks. “For last night. For chasing the monsters away…” “Anytime. It’s kind of my job… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wrote the word debauchery, but when I re-read it, I thought I had written douchebaggery. Both words would work... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My phone is like my lover…its the last thing I see at night , and the first thing I wake up to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People say everything happens for a reason... well when I punch you in the face remember that happened for a reason! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thank you for the present you brought I am sure that I'll use it a lot. Cause I always need clothes cause… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At school: Man I am so tired. Like seriously, as soon as I get home I am going to sleep. *Gets home*… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*A nerdy guys phone goes off* Jock: Who was that, your girlfriend? *Everyone laughs* Nerd: Nope. It was yours. *Dead silence* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love everybody...!!! Some I love to be around, some I love 2 avoid, and others I love to punch in the face… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Many people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them…Sometimes there is some SENSE in NONSENSE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never argue with an idiot. People watching won't be able to tell the difference — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why didn't you reply to my text? dude, how am I suppose to reply to lol? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Be careful of how you treat people. What you do to others has a funny way of coming back to you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm tired & sleepy, but when I get in bed, my body is like Just kidding! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Twitter, YouTube and Google were part of my school subjects, my parents would be so proud of me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The biggest honor I can bestow upon America this Memorial Day is not taking my shirt off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when someone says Name a good song and you forget all the songs that were ever made — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nerd style of flirting: I wish I could select all your clothes and press delete — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every relationship starts with He/she's different, and ends with He/she's just like the rest. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
From the moment our eyes first met, I knew I'd spend the rest of my life...trying to avoid you! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I smile because you're my sister. I laugh because you can't do nothing about it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Slamming the door shut, so everybody in the house knows you're pissed off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am starting to realize that secured transactions is law school's version of the Hunger Games. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Teachers, When 90% of us failed, it isnt that we didnt try, its just you are a terrible teacher. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
