Funny New Year Messages & Resolution Jokes

New Year SMS

Clean, silly New Year texts for friends, cousins and the family group: resolutions nobody will keep, jokes about the countdown, and wishes that get a laugh.

Funny New Year resolutions

  1. Top 10 New Year resolutions:
    1. Spend more and more time with family
    2. Help others in need
    3. Control obesity
    4. Help others in need
    5. Quitting smoking and drinking
    6. Will get more organized
    7. Motivate more on your well being
    8. Will obey the elders
    9. Get rid of all debts
    10. Will do homework in time
  2. My New Year's resolution is to stop making resolutions I don't keep. So far, so good.
  3. Resolution: read more. I've started by reading all my unread WhatsApp messages.
  4. This year I'm going to be more organised. I've already made a list of the lists I need to make.
  5. My resolution is to reply to messages on time. Starting next week.
  6. I resolve to wake up early this year. My alarm clock has resolved to keep trying.
  7. New Year's resolution: spend less time on my phone. I'll post updates on how it's going every hour.
  8. This year I will save money. Step one: stop checking online sales at 2 a.m.
  9. I promised to eat healthy this year. Then someone brought samosas.
  10. Resolution for this year: be more patient. I want results by Friday.

Funny Happy New Year wishes

  1. Happy New Year! May your phone battery last longer than your resolutions.
  2. Wishing you a year as full as your camera roll and as quiet as your inbox on a Sunday.
  3. Happy New Year! May your salary come early and your bills come late.
  4. May your Wi-Fi be strong, your chai be hot and your relatives ask fewer questions this year.
  5. Happy New Year! I hope this year treats you better than you treat your gym membership.
  6. New year, new me? No, same me, just more tired. Happy New Year!
  7. Happy New Year! Don't worry, you have a whole year to keep your resolutions. Or until next Tuesday.
  8. Wishing you twelve months of good luck, fifty-two weeks of laughter and at least one Monday that feels like a Friday.
  9. May the new year bring you everything you want, and may your relatives finally stop asking when you're getting married.
  10. This is a pre-recorded New Year wish. The real me is asleep. Happy New Year!

Clean New Year jokes

  1. Why was the calendar nervous on New Year's Eve?
    Its days were numbered.
  2. What did the old year say to the new year?
    You've got big shoes to fill, but don't worry, I left you the bills.
  3. I told my friend I'd stop putting things off this year.
    He said, 'Great, when do you start?'
    I said, 'I'll let you know.'
  4. Why do people make New Year's resolutions?
    Because February needs something to laugh at.
  5. I'm not saying I'm lazy, but my New Year's resolution is still loading.
  6. Why did the boy stand on the clock on New Year's Eve?
    He wanted to be on time for once.
  7. New Year's Eve is the only night when staying up late is called a celebration and not a bad habit.
  8. Every year I promise to be on time. Every year I'm late making the promise.

Funny New Year's Eve and midnight messages

  1. At midnight I'll be either waving hello to the new year or fast asleep on the sofa. Probably the sofa. Happy New Year!
  2. Countdown plan: 10, 9, 8... and then my mother tells me to go to sleep. Happy New Year!
  3. I wanted to be the first to wish you at midnight, but the network will crash. So, Happy New Year now.
  4. Party at my place tonight: Wi-Fi, blankets and a TV countdown. Dress code: pyjamas. Happy New Year!

Funny Roman Urdu / Hindi New Year messages

  1. Naya saal mubarak! Is saal bhi resolution wohi purana: kal se pakka.
  2. Saal naya hai, magar mere bahane wohi purane. Happy New Year!
  3. Naya saal aa gaya, magar meri salary abhi tak purane saal mein phansi hui hai. Mubarak ho!
  4. Is saal diet pakki. Bas aaj raat ki biryani ke baad. Happy New Year!

More New Year messages

Related SMS

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  33. Funny hindi new year msg

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