Humor Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image ““I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.0 out of 5 (7 ratings) Copy quoteShare Humor Tarot
“It had been a long night already, and now here I was, locked in another fight to the death. Sometimes it just didn't pay… — Jennifer Estep Copy Share Image
“We walked back the way we came, and even though it was dark there were no lights burning inside the houses. They were like… — Glenda Millard Copy Share Image
“I play out the cards. They say: This is Heaven, this is Hell. It is one.” — Sandra Gulland Copy Share Image
“I grabbed a robe and a fireplace poker and headed down the stairs at a snail's pace. I was sure I loved him, but… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
“...and we wandered through the casino gawking. It was kind of how I picture hell to be, with big dim rooms and hundreds of… — James Whorton Copy Share Image
“The house was still as death, and nothing but the wailing of the wind broke the deep hush.” — Louisa May Alcott Copy Share Image
“I really hadn't lost my friends and I could always find a party, but those were temporary shelters that would disappear with the ease… — Jennifer Laurens Copy Share Image
“the house and everyone in it lay in a sleep that would not be broken.” — Susan Cooper Copy Share Image
“...a tent represented adventures and possibilities, giving you the stars every single night. But a house stayed in one place, safe but always the… — Elizabeth Atkinson Copy Share Image
“...the souls of none of them were dead, but only sleeping; now and then they would waken, and these were cruel times.” — Upton Sinclair Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy. — Shane Dawson Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants. — Rhoda Janzen Copy Share Image
“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly.… — S.K. Munt Copy Share Image
“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.” — Markus Herz Copy Share Image
“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which… — Kate Quinn Copy Share Image
In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but… — Luke Evans Copy Share Image
“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once,… — Nora Ephron Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“ “Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do? Yes, I say--Northerners.” Roy Blount, Jr., Roy Blount’s Book of Southern Humor” — Deborah Ford Copy Share Image