Behinds Quote by Phyllis Diller

“I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.”

Phyllis Diller

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Behinds Chores Cleaning Eighteen Fit Household Household chores Housework Knows Use Years

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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.

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I don't know how you feel about old age... but in my case I didn't even see it coming. It hit me from the…

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If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

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I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.

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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.

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By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.

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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.

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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

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The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

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“A smile is a curve that sets things right.”

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Explore all 222 Phyllis Diller quotes

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God hides Himself behind causes.

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Home is behind, the world ahead, And there are many paths to tread Through shadows to the edge of night, Until the stars are…

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Conservatism is not about leaving people behind. Conservatism is about empowering people to catch up, to give them the tools at their disposable that…

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