Food Quote by Lou Reed

When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at…

— Jack Handey

“The fog scattered the light and spread it thick like mayonnaise. It was late and I was sandwiched between 2011 and 2012, and all…

— Jarod Kintz

Life is like Sanskrit read to a pony.

— Lou Reed

“Q: Who invented mayonnaise?   A: Somebody with bad taste.”

— Barry Raspbody

I spent my childhood eating. The only exercise I got was trying to twist off the cap of a jar of mayonnaise.

— Richard Simmons

Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn't.

— Karl Lagerfeld

Toum is essentially a mayonnaise, but it's stabilized with garlic instead of egg. Just like mayo, toum is an emulsion of oil into water,…

— Sohla El-Waylly

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

— Jim Gaffigan

You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside...

— Jim Gaffigan

“Light mayonnaise is like masturbation—it approximates the real thing but leaves you unfulfilled, ultimately leading to fantasies about diving face-first into a big-ass jar…

— Susan Donovan

I'm not a person who writes really abstract things with oblique references. I look at abstraction like I look at condiments. Give me some…

— Wynton Marsalis

“Make sure you embrace days more than a jar does mayonnaise.”

— Noah Nichols