Mayonnaise Quotes

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

— Patrick

Life's like a mayonnaise soda.

— Lou Reed

“A-mayonnaise-ing!”

— Brian Conaghan

“Q: Who invented mayonnaise?   A: Somebody with bad taste.”

— Barry Raspbody

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

— Robin Williams

I've put mayonnaise in my hair, avocado, Kool-Aid, lemon - all the things.

— Chloe Fineman

“Make sure you embrace days more than a jar does mayonnaise.”

— Noah Nichols

I eat so much mayonnaise they were going to send me to the Mayo Clinic.

— Tom Robbins

It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.

— Stephen Colbert

“I always wanted to write a book that ended with the word Mayonnaise.”

— Richard Brautigan

Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn't.

— Karl Lagerfeld

We need to have lectures about why we can't have every day things like mayonnaise, ketchup and Coke.

— Paolo Di Canio

In Germany, salads are assemblies of ham and mayonnaise, not trendy tossed leaves.

— Rachel Johnson

Europe's the mayonnaise all right, but America supplies the good old lobster.

— D. H. Lawrence

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

— Jim Gaffigan

Before a game, I always eat a turkey burger with mayonnaise. The players say it's disgusting, but I'm not changing.

— Dennis Schroder

I love mayonnaise, but mustard is a must when you're doing the Impossible Burger.

— E-40

I thought a great line in the What Just Happened movie said, "We're just the mayonnaise."

— Barry Levinson

I mix mayonnaise, ketchup and brandy and a little bit of mustard. This is a heck of a good sauce for seafood.

— Anonymous

It's difficult to say there's something I dislike the most about Hillary Clinton. Frankly, in a weird way, she's had to eat…

— Rush Limbaugh

Mayonnaise, like hollandaise, was invented by the French to cover up the flavor of spoiled flesh, stale vegetables, rotten fish. Beware the…

— Edward Abbey

Sometimes it's just 'Oh my God, I love the taste of fried oysters on French bread with mayonnaise and an order of…

— Richard Simmons

I remember the stink of the liverwurst. How I was put on a platter and laid between the mayonnaise and the bacon.…

— Anne Sexton

Toum is essentially a mayonnaise, but it's stabilized with garlic instead of egg. Just like mayo, toum is an emulsion of oil…

— Sohla El-Waylly

When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just…

— Jack Handey

“The sticky heaps of jellied marshmallows and tinted fruit that appear on too many tables should be shudderingly avoided along with their…

— Margaret Yardley Potter

“[Hadley] "I have a fear of mayo, so I've actually gotten pretty good at it over the years." [Oliver] "You have a…

— Jennifer E. Smith

Food, like anything else, lives in the physical world and obeys the laws of physics. When you whisk together some oil and…

— Nathan Myhrvold

She set about preparing her supper. It would have to be one of those classically simple meals, the sort that French peasants…

— Barbara Pym

“ The moment I put it in my mouth and bit down... ... an exquisite and entirely unexpected flavor exploded in my…

— Yuto Tsukuda

I'm not a person who writes really abstract things with oblique references. I look at abstraction like I look at condiments. Give…

— Wynton Marsalis

“All Carolina folk are crazy for mayonnaise, mayonnaise is as ambrosia to them, the food of their tarheeled gods. Mayonnaise comforts them,…

— Tom Robbins

“When I wasn't at school, I was experimenting at home, and became a bit of a Mad Scientist. I did hours of…

— Julia Child

I keep looking for ultimate answers, but maybe there aren't any or maybe I'm not looking in the right places, because in…

— Rachel Vail

This isn't that homemade stuff...that love mayonnaise.

— Johnny Knoxville

Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster.

— D. H. Lawrence

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

— Joan Rivers

I've been craving peanut butter-and-mayonnaise fried cheese sandwiches.

— Anna Nicole Smith

“I want a sexual innuendo sandwich, hold the mayonnaise.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Mayonnaise,” Morgan said, “is a lot like men.”

— Sarah Dessen