Humorous Quote by Julie Jaret Download Open image ““... the lawnmower sounded like bottle caps in a blender.”” — Julie Jaret ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.1 out of 5 (10 ratings) Copy quoteShare Humorous
“For God's sake, woman, I'm not going to dive into the shelves and rip the caps off the bottles. Are you okay?” — Jodi Ellen Malpas Copy Share Image
“I was hamming it up so much you could virtually taste the salad too.” — storm constantine Copy Share Image
“Of course I grew it in a fucking tank! What do you think I am, a farmer?” — Charles Stross Copy Share Image
“She unscrews the cap, sniffs it, and then shrugs, dumping the entire contents into the bubbling brew. “It could be marjoram, but it might… — Rita Webb Copy Share Image
“He picked up a handful of grass and squeezed it in his fingers, letting the blades fall back to the ground, two or three… — Thomas Tessier Copy Share Image
“He attacked me, so I had to slit his throat with a steak knife. But not before I splashed Worcestershire sauce all over it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I scattered J.Lo's tools around the car, searching for some kind of rope, or something that could be used like a rope. I should… — Adam Rex Copy Share Image
“You could always industrialize,” she refilled Jimmy’s wine glass. “You know, get a job stunning chickens in a factory to earn the trust of… — Vanessa Veselka Copy Share Image
“One of the classier features of this home was the padded toilet seat. It was high-mileage puffy brown vinyl-colored foam and made that weird sigh when you sat down on it. I'm not a germaphobe or anything like that, but it is weird to think about all the ass time this seat had seen before we moved in. This is… — Adam Carolla Copy Share
“Holy hell, Trev! What kind of move was that?” Trevor leaned over her with a big smile on his face. “You really thought I… — Cecilia Aubrey & Chris Almeida Copy Share Image
There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine. Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is The gain of the one at the top, For art is a form of catharsis, And love is a permanent flop, And work is the province of cattle,… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share
“Some women walk towards a better future. Others have chauffeurs.” — Ljupka Cvetanova Copy Share Image
In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog, whichever was handy. If you stole a dog… — Mike Harding Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Shut up, you fool...Really. I’m running out of things to throw at you.” — K.M. Parr Copy Share Image
“There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible sat on… — Joey Comeau Copy Share Image
“Can you imagine life without the horror genre? There would be no monsters. Only a**holes.” — Michael A. Arnzen Copy Share Image
