Deep thought Quote by Jack Handey Download Open image “I wonder if Dracula ever has ticks.” — Jack Handey ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.6 out of 5 (5 ratings) Copy quoteShare Deep thought Inspirational Tick Wonder
I expected Dracula to come jumping out any second. If he did I'd have held up a cross, cause he's allergic to bullshit. — Richard Pryor Copy Share Image
I've noticed Dracula was often as practical a fellow as he was a nasty one. — Elizabeth Kostova Copy Share Image
“You've made vampire spiders?" Now it was her turn to wonder if her was serious. He should know that was't a possibility. "They don't… — Meljean Brook Copy Share Image
A friend once told me that the real message Bram Stoker sought to convey in 'Dracula' is that a human being needs to live… — Joe Queenan Copy Share Image
“Dracula visited the Wolf Department at the Zoological Gardens. "These wolves seem upset at something," he observed. The next morning the cage was all… — Elif Batuman Copy Share Image
If you introduce yourself to anyone as Mrs. Dracula, I'll bite you in a manner you won't enjoy. — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
The only vampires I've ever seen are the Goths trying to get a glimpse of Anne Rice's house, who drink strawberry sodas and tell… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
I'd witnessed for the first time in my vampire- obsessed existence an actual vampire bite. The only problem was that it wasn't my neck… — Ellen Schreiber Copy Share Image
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know? — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I had always assumed that the right way to do it was to these engineers, put them in offices by themselves with doors that… — Eric Schmidt Copy Share Image
The amount you give isn't important. What matters is what that amount represents in terms of your life. — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never knew an early-rising, hard-working, prudent man, careful of his earnings, and strictly honest who complained of bad luck. — Henry Ward Beecher Copy Share Image
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know? — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
