Beach Quote by Jack Handey

“Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach: A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don't taste like it.” quote by Jack Handey — Download Open image

“Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach: A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don't taste like it.”

Jack Handey

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Beach Crackers Deep thought Dollars Looks May Nice Sand Sand dollar Taste Trust me

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Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

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I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down and explained that business hadn't been good at Dad's store, so we couldn't afford a turkey. We had vegetables and bread and pie, and it was just fine. Later on, I went into Mom and Dad's…

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I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?

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Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?!

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I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out west and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is…

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Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.

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When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.

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Here about the beach I wandered, nourishing a youth sublime With the fairy tales of science, and the long result of Time.

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