Quote by Gabriel Iglesias

If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard.

— Anonymous

I'm gonna hump ya. Like Deputy Dog... Would hump ya.

— Steve Coogan

You guys called the cops to get your frisbee out of the pond? Is this really a police matter? -Schmidt

— 21 Jump Street

“When Charlie arrived home from his mother's funeral, he was met at the door by two very large very enthusiastic canines, who , undistracted…

— Christopher Moore

On the field you gives it, you takes it, and yer doon't fookin' groomble!

— Vince Karalius

You guys called the cops to get your frisbee out of the pond? Is this really a police matter?

— Jonah Hill

You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.

— Garrison Keillor

I'm professional, I'm allowed to say this. I let him lick my balls. So, that's what you need to get close with your animal.

— Will Ferrell

O happy dogs of England, Bark well at errand boys, If you lived anywhere else, You would not be allowed to make such an…

— Stevie Smith

Say something idiotic and nobody but a dog politely wags his tail.

— Virginia Graham

Forgive our neighbor Bob, I think he humped a dog.

— Blink 182

I'm the disciplinarian. Nick doesn't discipline. The cat can do whatever it wants. It can scratch on the furniture. It can do whatever it…

— Bridget Marquardt