Devil Quote by Emo Philips

“I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him.”

Emo Philips

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.6 out of 5 (5 ratings)

Devil Evil Ex girlfriend Exes Girlfriend Knows Lessons Thinking

More by Emo Philips

Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed…

Emo Philips

Image

I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!

Emo Philips

Image

Libertarians believe consenting adults have the right to do whatever they choose, except band together.

Emo Philips

Image

I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass…

Emo Philips

Image

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

Emo Philips

Image

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Emo Philips

Image

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."…

Emo Philips

Image

I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off…

Emo Philips

Image

I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember,…

Emo Philips

Image

If you're worth over $50m you should have to dress like that guy on the Monopoly box. The super-rich shouldn't get all the benefits…

Emo Philips

Image

Race is still somewhat of a taboo in comedy. But if you're a minority, then you can make fun of your own minority. And…

Emo Philips

Image

I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.

Emo Philips

Image

Explore all 208 Emo Philips quotes

More Devil quotes

Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

H. L. Mencken

Image

The devil has been defeated, stop trying to defeat him. What we have left is the fight of faith, and it's a good fight!

Chris Oyakhilome

Image

You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding…

Janet Evanovich

Image

Your head's like mine, like all our heads; big enough to contain every god and devil there ever was. Big enough to hold the…

Grant Morrison

Image

And so it is, that both the Devil and the angelic Spirit present us with objects of desire to awaken our power of choice.

Rumi

Image

Remember that Abraham Lincoln was a Whig far longer than he was a Republican. As a whole, the Whigs looked upon banks and corporations…

Allen C. Guelzo

Image

Wine is the first weapon that devils use in attacking the young

St. Jerome

Image

This is the gift of your species and this is the danger, because you do not choose to control your imaginings. You imagine wonderful…

Michael Crichton

Image

“The devil?” Jason heaved the tick over his shoulder like a collier with his sack. “Satan. The adversary. The enemy of the plan of…

Orson Scott Card

Image

God never talks. But the devil keeps advertising, Father. The devil does a lot of commercials.

William Peter Blatty

Image

If it was a sin for you to choose me . . . then I would go to the Devil himself and bless him…

Diana Gabaldon

Image

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”—Charles Baudelaire “The second greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was…

Charles Baudelaire

Image

Browse all 3,173 Devil quotes

Devil Quote by Emo Philips

Related quotes

More by Emo Philips

More Devil quotes