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Dies Quote by Dana Gould

“I used to pessimistically think I was going to die alone, but now I optimistically know I'm going to die hoping to meet someone.” quote by Dana Gould — Download Open image

“I used to pessimistically think I was going to die alone, but now I optimistically know I'm going to die hoping to meet someone.”

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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can…

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The older I get, the more I look like my favorite shoes.

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Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.

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I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get…

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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.

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Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.

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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because…

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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.

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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible…

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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.

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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.

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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.

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Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…

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I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]

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Don't even think for a moment that you are not going to die.

Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche

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Set NOT your hearts on the flowers of this world. They shall fade and die. Prize the Rose of Sharon and the Lily of…

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Violence is not necessary to destroy a civilization. Each civilization dies from indifference toward the unique values which created it.

Nicolas Gomez Davila

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I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?

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Certainly, it is. Love is love, and loss is loss. We all love, and we all die, and everyone suffers the pain of grieving.…

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“When he stops giving you butterflies, Love dies.”

Michelle Blanchard

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That old man dies prematurely whose memory records no benefits conferred. They only have lived long who have lived virtuously.

Richard Brinsley Sheridan

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I don't want to just die a normal death, I wanna be killed twice.

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My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!

Christopher Titus

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For the glory born of Goodness Never dies, And its flag is not half-masted In the skies.

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