I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home? — Brian Celio Behind Copy Share Image
“Postmodernism has turned into this devil's vortex where no matter what you do, your neck will be turned and your face shoved… — Brian Celio Postmodern Copy Share Image
I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed? — Brian Celio Eat Copy Share Image
A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you… — Brian Celio Both Copy Share Image
I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever. — Brian Celio Clever Copy Share Image
What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing… — Brian Celio Love Copy Share Image
Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands… — Brian Celio Middle finger Copy Share Image
I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous. — Brian Celio Imagine Copy Share Image
“History, lie of our lives, mire of our loins. Our sins, our souls. Hiss-tih-ree: the tip of the pen taking a trip… — Brian Celio History Copy Share Image
Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source. — Brian Celio Becomes Copy Share Image
You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right. — Brian Celio Able Copy Share Image
“Fire is no laughing matter. In a drunken attempt to appear womanly, my neighbor tried to burn her pubes off when she… — Brian Celio Fire Copy Share Image
“When I left high school with my diploma, it felt like I was holding a key that would unlock the door to… — Brian Celio Better world Copy Share Image
True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't. — Brian Celio Admit Copy Share Image
Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life. — Brian Celio Best Copy Share Image
Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own. — Brian Celio Art Copy Share Image
Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris. — Brian Celio Chuck Copy Share Image
