“Fire is no laughing matter. In a drunken attempt to appear womanly, my neighbor tried to burn her pubes off when she was fifteen, but it hurt too much to get it completely smooth. My friend had sex with her… — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't. — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home? — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
“Postmodernism has turned into this devil's vortex where no matter what you do, your neck will be turned and your face shoved into a… — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed? — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a… — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever. — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do… — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put… — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous. — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
“History, lie of our lives, mire of our loins. Our sins, our souls. Hiss-tih-ree: the tip of the pen taking a trip of three… — Brian Celio Copy Share Image
