« All When Someone Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
When Someone Quotes by Jack Handey
- I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No,…
- I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a…
- I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like "Hey, when are you going to pay me that hundred…
More When Someone Quotes
- I find it kind of disturbing when people cheer when someone just gets stabbed brutally. — Rick Baker
- I'm empathetic to a fault. I really do - embarrassingly enough - tear up when someone squishes a bug in front of… — Kristen Bell
- When someone sets out to be controversial or provocative or shocking as an end in itself, I don't think that's a noble… — Rob Bell
- When someone comes up to me and says, 'Mary, you helped save my marriage', or, 'Mary, you helped me get out of… — Mary J. Blige
- I had studied theater for three years in London when someone suggested me for the role. — Orlando Bloom
- I don't have much patience for people who are self-conscious about the act of eating, and it irritates me when someone denies… — Anthony Bourdain
- Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame for anything. — Anita Brookner
- When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not… — George Carlin
- I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it. — George Carlin
- A good upbringing means not that you won't spill sauce on the tablecloth, but that you won't notice it when someone else… — Anton Chekhov
- When someone has cancer, the whole family and everyone who loves them does, too. — Terri Clark
- In almost every profession - whether it's law or journalism, finance or medicine or academia or running a small business - people… — Hillary Clinton