"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a……" — George Carlin
"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."
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546 Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
- Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
- Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
- Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
- The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
- Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
- Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
- The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
More Always Relieved Quotes
This quote is filed under Always Relieved Quotes, one of 2 quotes in that category. Here are a few more: