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Up Quotes by W.C. Fields
- I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
- Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
- No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
- When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
- How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
- Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
- Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
- The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
- Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a…
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