« All Swimming Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Swimming Quotes by Jack Handey
- If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to…
- Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just say, "Hey, has…
- I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you…
More Swimming Quotes
- I remember one day sitting at the pool and suddenly the tears were streaming down my cheeks. Why was I so unhappy?… — Ingrid Bergman
- Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in. — Bill Bradley
- My preference is swimming in the sea. I find the sea is more liberating, wild and good fun rather than plodding up… — Jo Brand
- I have big friends who won't go swimming because they're too embarrassed about it. I feel that's such a shame, because actually… — Jo Brand
- I swam at school a lot. Long-distance swimming in pools, and diving, then when we moved to Hastings when I was 13… — Jo Brand
- Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked. — Warren Buffett
- In 1980, business at my company, Chuck E. Cheese's, was thriving and I was feeling flush. So I bought a very large… — Nolan Bushnell
- I love cycling, running and swimming. In recent years I've competed regularly in triathlons, which means I don't find the physical side… — Jenson Button
- There's a great metaphor that one of my doctors uses: If a fish is swimming in a dirty tank and it gets… — Kris Carr
- I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. — Jimmy Carter
- Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense! — George Carlin
- When I go out and race, I'm not trying to beat opponents, I'm trying to beat what I have done ... to… — Ian Thorpe