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Sort Quotes by Jack Handey
- As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning,…
- I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. They're sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of fur.
- I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling…
- If there's ever an amusement park called Bag World, I bet it would really start to annoy you after a while how they really sort…
- You can't tell me that cowboys, when they're branding cattle, don't sort of "accidentally" brand each other every once in a while. It's their way…
- I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that says guilty or not guilty for you, as a sort of…
- Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
- I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why? It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun…
- We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just sort of coasting…
- People just naturally assume that dogs would be incapable of working together on some sort of construction project. But what about just a big field…
- If I was a cowboy in a lynch mob, I think I'd try to stay near the back. That way, if somebody shamed us into…
- If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort…
- If they have moving sidewalks in the future, when you get on them, I think you should have to assume sort of a walking shape…
More Sort Quotes
- The beginning of reform is not so much to equalize property as to train the noble sort of natures not to desire… — Aristotle
- I was always interested in French poetry sort of as a sideline to my own work, I was translating contemporary French poets.… — Paul Auster
- Beauty is about perception, not about make-up. I think the beginning of all beauty is knowing and liking oneself. You can't put… — Kevyn Aucoin
- And as I stumbled onto Eastern philosophy and Buddhism, it was the first time I had ever read any sort of philosophy… — Alan Ball
- Monty Python crowd; half of them came from Cambridge, and half of them came from Oxford. But, there seems to be this… — Rowan Atkinson
- If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them… — Douglas Adams
- An employer of mine back in the '80s was kind enough to take me on after a rough patch, and it made… — Anthony Bourdain
- I'm pretty critical of myself as far as reaching some sort of perfect bull's-eye or target that I'm aiming for. — Jeff Bridges