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Sex Quotes by Joan Rivers
- As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
- I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir'.
- I have no sex appeal; if my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had the kid.
- My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
- Two is company; three is fifty bucks.
- I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
- That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
- Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played "Here Comes the Bride"...
- I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
- Better laid than never.
- It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
- Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.
- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three…
- It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.
More Sex Quotes
- There are some forms of religion that are bad, just as there's bad cooking or bad art or bad sex, you have… — Karen Armstrong
- There are two things people want more than sex and money... recognition and praise. — Mary Kay Ash
- Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. — Isaac Asimov
- One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. — Jane Austen
- I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me. — Tallulah Bankhead
- Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain't over 'til you both get your cookie. — Alec Baldwin
- Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other… — James A. Baldwin
- I wake up every morning, look in the mirror and ask, 'Am I a sex symbol?' Then I go back to bed… — Antonio Banderas
- I'm as pure as the driven slush. — Tallulah Bankhead
- Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once. — Tallulah Bankhead
- Life is wasted on the living. — Douglas Adams
- I'm just curious, who's more fit to raise a child? A loving committed same-sex couple or an unmarried 15-year-old with no income… — Ellen Barkin