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Jack Handey's Page
Potato Salad Quotes by Jack Handey
1 Potato Salad quote by Jack Handey
More Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 402 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the car -…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then…
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More Potato Salad Quotes
Popular Potato Salad quotes from across the collection:
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Im straight... But my girl a faggot... Potato on the barrel... Potato salad
— Lil Wayne
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I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato…
— Jack Handey
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My personality, when tasked with creating meals, goes something like this: Is there a way we can make this more difficult? Because…
— Sloane Crosley
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My family lived off the land and summer evening meals featured baked stuffed tomatoes, potato salad, corn on the cob, fresh shelled…
— David Mixner
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High fashion has the shelf life of potato salad. And when past its prime, it is similarly deadly.
— Barbara Kingsolver
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You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers…
— Erma Bombeck
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When you see a fly flitting around your hair or your potato salad, you might see an annoyance. But in my lab,…
— Michael Dickinson
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If you begin a conversation about potato salad and find yourself being called a castrating bitch, don't waste your time going around…
— Merrill Markoe
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