« All Mean Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Mean Quotes by Jack Handey
- If I ever get rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
- Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Basically, it's made up of two separate words — mank and…
- Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head". Normally,…
- If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker. It may just mean that…
- I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood…
- People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is,…
- I remember how the other kids used to say that old Mister Swenson was the meanest man in town. But I said I thought he…
- The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a…
- If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means…
More Mean Quotes
- The ultimate end of human acts is eudaimonia, happiness in the sense of living well, which all men desire; all acts are… — Hannah Arendt
- I hate to look at the stuff I've written and consider what it means or why I do it. — J. J. Abrams
- Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion. — Aristotle
- Bring your desires down to your present means. Increase them only when your increased means permit. — Aristotle
- Courage is a mean with regard to fear and confidence. — Aristotle
- Temperance is a mean with regard to pleasures. — Aristotle
- In making a speech one must study three points: first, the means of producing persuasion; second, the language; third the proper arrangement… — Aristotle
- Different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so make for themselves different modes of life and… — Aristotle
- Excellence, then, is a state concerned with choice, lying in a mean, relative to us, this being determined by reason and in… — Aristotle
- I mean there's enormous pressures to harmonize freedom of speech legislation and transparency legislation around the world - within the E.U., between… — Julian Assange
- When I was a little kid - and even still - I loved magic tricks. When I saw how movies got made… — J. J. Abrams
- If you read quickly to get through a poem to what it means, you have missed the body of the poem. — M H Abrams