« All Long Quotes · George Carlin's Page
Long Quotes by George Carlin
- Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
- Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
- The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a…
- They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. It's a big club and you ain't in it. You…
- The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
- I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest: "Alcohol will…
- I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment…
- A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality - and it's…
- If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
- If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance
- We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.
- Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it's not there anymore? And then when you take it…
- Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage. I've always written in the long format, five, eight, 10-minute pieces rather than one-liners,…
- If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?…
- Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
- There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long…
- Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans…
- Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is…
More Long Quotes
- It is in the very nature of things human that every act that has once made its appearance and has been recorded… — Hannah Arendt
- I wanted to get back to my style of 20 years ago after a long period of exploring horror and fantasy themes. — Dario Argento
- Stories in which the destruction of society occurs are explorations of social fears and issues that filmmakers, novelists, playwrights, painters have been… — J. J. Abrams
- Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or… — Richard Armour
- I really enjoy being single again. I spent a lot of time in a relationship and the nearer we came to the… — Dido Armstrong
- Storytelling is fine as long as you can encourage people to act on the stories. — Karen Armstrong
- As a boy, because I was born and raised in Ohio, about 60 miles north of Dayton, the legends of the Wrights… — Neil Armstrong
- Animators have to live life 24 times as long as we do - every 24 frames of a second. — Darren Aronofsky
- This is the sheriff you're talking about, with a gun and badge that enforces the law. Nothing is going to stop me… — Joe Arpaio
- So long as we have failed to eliminate any of the causes of human despair, we do not have the right to… — Antonin Artaud
- He had read much, if one considers his long life; but his contemplation was much more than his reading. He was wont… — Isaac Asimov
- They have not always elected the best leaders, particularly after a long period in which they have not used this facility of… — Chinua Achebe