« All Husband Quotes · Phyllis Diller's Page
Husband Quotes by Phyllis Diller
- Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
- Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.
- Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.
- Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.
- My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
- This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to buy a gun for my husband.' The clerk says, 'Did he tell you…
- The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
- I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
More Husband Quotes
- A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more… — Frank Abagnale
- Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instance, they demand so… — Richard Armour
- It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a… — Jane Austen
- Husbands and wives generally understand when opposition will be vain. — Jane Austen
- My husband and I had five biological children but we also have been raising 23 foster children. — Michele Bachmann
- I am proud of my husband, Marcus, the love of my life, and his Swiss heritage. Even though I have been a… — Michele Bachmann
- I would agree that President Carter didn't live up to the expectation we all had when he came in 1976. My husband… — Michele Bachmann
- I'm not only a lawyer, I have a post doctorate degree in federal tax law from William and Mary. I work in… — Michele Bachmann
- Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could. — Abigail Adams
- A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning. — Honore de Balzac
- A lover always thinks of his mistress first and himself second; with a husband it runs the other way. — Honore de Balzac
- The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. — Honore de Balzac