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Inspirational Quotes by Phyllis Diller
- I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
- They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
- I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
- Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
- You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
- I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'
- You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
- The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
- The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.
- If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
- Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
- When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
- This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head.
- There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.
- The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
- My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
- Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
- It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
- It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
- It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
- I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.
- I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.
- I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.
- I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
- He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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More Inspirational Quotes
- This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes. — Hannah Arendt
- There are no dangerous thoughts; thinking itself is dangerous. — Hannah Arendt
- Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it. — Hannah Arendt
- By its very nature the beautiful is isolated from everything else. From beauty no road leads to reality. — Hannah Arendt
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- Action without a name, a who attached to it, is meaningless. — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore… — Pietro Aretino
- Perugia is my true fatherland because there I grew to manhood. — Pietro Aretino
- I want to do what I want when I want to do it not be dictated to by audiences. — Dario Argento
- I went through a phase where I thought nostalgia was a bad thing. — Dario Argento
- In Italy the censor is very old and there are many judges and psychiatrists who analyse you. — Dario Argento