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- The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on…
- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me -…
- Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
- When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
- What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
- One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
- Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
- The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a…
- They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. It's a big club and you ain't in it. You…
- One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put…
- And this should go without saying. That's why I'm going to say it: Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early in the morning…
- You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country is only 200 years old, and already we've had…
- Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"
- Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make…
- I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make…
- Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10…
- You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
- Like on the airlines, they say they want to 'pre-board'. Well, what the hell is 'pre board'? What does that mean? To get on before…
- When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row…
- We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
- We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up…
- There's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. It's never going to get any better. Don't…
- Let me get a sip of water here...you figure this stuff is safe to drink? Actually, I don't care, I drink it anyway. You know…
- I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol…
- Even in a fake democracy, people ought to get what they want once in a while.
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- Flattery and deceit are the darlings of great men, and so with these men spread the butter on thick, if you want… — Pietro Aretino
- Having been a child actor, I remember how directors would trick me to get good performances out of me. I don't think… — Asia Argento
- I wanted to get back to my style of 20 years ago after a long period of exploring horror and fantasy themes. — Dario Argento
- Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes… — Aristotle
- Most people would rather give than get affection. — Aristotle
- The faces I see in the modeling industry can get dull. — Kevyn Aucoin
- Get this in mind early: We never grow up. — Richard Bach
- The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. — Richard Bach
- I never thought being obnoxious would get me where I am today. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- The riskiest thing you can do is get greedy. — Lance Armstrong
- If you worried about falling off the bike, you'd never get on. — Lance Armstrong
- I still don't get golf. — Lance Armstrong