« All Funny Quotes · Jeff Foxworthy's Page
Funny Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
- You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
- I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!
- I really don't require a whole lot in life.
- If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to…
- You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
- I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.
- I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
- Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
- There's no down time any more.
- Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're…
- It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
- Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
- What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
- I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a $hitload of money.
- Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin