Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

100 quotes in 1156 categories

• My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was…
• You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.
• It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
• I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other.…
• The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
• You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
• My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.
• You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
• If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck
• You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work,…
• We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him…
• When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it…
• I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!
• I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.
• Little girls love dolls. They just don't love dolls clothes
• [about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we…
• Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
• You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
• You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
• You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

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