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Fast Quotes by Jack Handey
- If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.
- When Armageddon comes, it would be good to be an Olympic athlete, because running real fast and jumping over stuff could come in handy.
- Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
- If there was a big gardening convention, and you got up and gave a speech in favor of fast-motion gardening, I bet you would get…
- Isn't it funny how one minute life can be such a struggle, and the next minute you're just driving real fast, swerving back and forth…
- You know how to paint a room real fast? Just put paint rollers on your feet and then somehow figure out how to skate up…
More Fast Quotes
- My Latin temper blows up pretty fast, but it goes down just as fast. Maybe that's why you seldom hear of ulcers… — Desi Arnaz
- Is there an equality of power between America and Iraq? Definitely not; however, the Iraqi people are standing fast and are defending… — Bashar al-Assad
- Vampires get the joy of flying around and living forever, werewolves get the joy of animal spirits. But zombies, they're not rich,… — Margaret Atwood
- A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. — Jane Austen
- Oh! do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to… — Jane Austen
- Artificial intelligence is growing up fast, as are robots whose facial expressions can elicit empathy and make your mirror neurons quiver. — Diane Ackerman
- A society that does not correctly interpret and appreciate its past cannot understand its present fortunes and adversities and can be caught… — Ibrahim Babangida
- But I enjoyed getting sick, I didn't mind it at all. So in that short amount of time, I did actually go… — Christian Bale
- Those who spend too fast never grow rich. — Honore de Balzac
- I've always been attracted to cars, and driving is a completely measurable experience: if you qualify last on the grid, you're the… — Eric Bana
- It's a question of spreading the available energy, aerobic and anaerobic, evenly over four minutes. If you run one part too fast,… — Roger Bannister
- Meat consumption is just as dangerous to public health as tobacco use... It's time we looked into holding the meat producers and… — Neal Barnard