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Jack Handey's Page
Day I Got Quotes by Jack Handey
1 Day I Got quote by Jack Handey
More Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 402 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the car -…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then…
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More Day I Got Quotes
Popular Day I Got quotes from across the collection:
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Fortunately, I got called down to NASA for an interview. And one thing led to the next, and one day I got…
— Michael P. Anderson
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I was born the day I got my license. When I was a kid, if I wanted to go somewhere and see…
— Jay Leno
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There's a scene [in the 1990 film Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael] in my bedroom where I start eating Almond Roca. I was…
— Winona Ryder
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The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp…
— Eddie Murphy
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I only wanted Uncle Vernon standing by his own car (a Hudson) on a clear day, I got him and the car.…
— Lee Friedlander
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The day I got a hit off (Sandy) Koufax was when he knew it was all over.
— Sparky Anderson
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The other day I got out my can opener and was opening a can of worms when I thought, "What am I…
— Jack Handey
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Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a…
— Rodney Dangerfield
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I kept dreaming of a world I thought I'd never see, and then....one day....I got in!
— Jeff Bridges
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I'm so fortunate in that I've never had another job to pay a bill but acting, since the day I got out…
— Amy Ryan
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The other day I got invited to a party, but I stayed home instead. Just me and my pal Johnny Walker and…
— George Thorogood
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I was living as a young single mom. I was 19 when I was divorced, and my daughter was a year old,…
— Wendy Davis
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