« All Came Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Came Quotes by Jack Handey
- When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, the gathered together one evening, slapped each other on…
- If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I…
- The old pool shooter has won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did…
- One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the…
- If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, "Congratulations, it's a girl," I think a good gag…
- If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection? I…
- I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a…
- I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not…
- The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old…
- Folks still remember the day ole Bob Riley came bouncing down that dirt road in his pickup. Pretty soon, it was bouncing higher and higher.…
- I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves.
- Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said, 'Hey, how's it going?' So I grabbed his arm and twisted…
- If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadores came up to you and asked where the gold was, I…
More Came Quotes
- Our tradition of political thought had its definite beginning in the teachings of Plato and Aristotle. I believe it came to a… — Hannah Arendt
- I really enjoy being single again. I spent a lot of time in a relationship and the nearer we came to the… — Dido Armstrong
- Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the Moon. July 1969 AD. We came in peace for all mankind. — Neil Armstrong
- Monty Python crowd; half of them came from Cambridge, and half of them came from Oxford. But, there seems to be this… — Rowan Atkinson
- When the British came to Ibo land, for instance, at the beginning of the 20th century, and defeated the men in pitched… — Chinua Achebe
- Before the Civil War, Canada was at the top of the underground railroad. If you made it into Canada, you were safe… — Margaret Atwood
- I came to the conclusion months ago, and I said it to members of Congress, that the only way people are going… — David Axelrod
- I would agree that President Carter didn't live up to the expectation we all had when he came in 1976. My husband… — Michele Bachmann
- Despite the rejection, and in violation of all the rules, I came back year after year. — Joseph Barbera
- I don't watch the movies I make, so I haven't seen 'Footloose' since it came out. You see this young, hungry actor,… — Kevin Bacon
- What I work hard at doing is staying on a path of being kind and showing and proving that I'm a good… — Erykah Badu
- My father was a physicist and also an activist. My first public protest was with my dad at Stanford. I came by… — Joan Baez