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Animal Quotes by Jack Handey
- I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with…
- Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's…
- Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going…
- I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having…
- If I come back as an animal in my next lifetime, I hope it's some type of parasite, because this is the part where I…
- If you see an animal and you can't tell if it's a skunk or a cat, here's a good saying to help: "Black-and-white, stinks all…
- Of all the warning sounds that animals make, I think the one that's the least effective on me is a kind of clicking noise.
- Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.
- It's amazing to me that one of the world's most feared diseases would be carried by one of the world's smallest animals: the real tiny…
- I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. but I know that secretly, they're watching my every…
More Animal Quotes
- At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. — Aristotle
- Man is by nature a political animal. — Aristotle
- To insult someone we call him 'bestial. For deliberate cruelty and nature, 'human' might be the greater insult. — Isaac Asimov
- If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men… — Francis of Assisi
- People are not going to care about animal conservation unless they think that animals are worthwhile. — David Attenborough
- There are some four million different kinds of animals and plants in the world. Four million different solutions to the problems of… — David Attenborough
- Birds are the most popular group in the animal kingdom. We feed them and tame them and think we know them. And… — David Attenborough
- The only way to save a rhinoceros is to save the environment in which it lives, because there's a mutual dependency between… — David Attenborough
- I'm not a propagandist, I'm not a polemicist; my primary interest is just looking at and trying to understand how animals work. — David Attenborough
- I'm not an animal lover if that means you think things are nice if you can pat them, but I am intoxicated… — David Attenborough
- If you watch animals objectively for any length of time, you're driven to the conclusion that their main aim in life is… — David Attenborough
- Steve Irwin did wonderful conservation work but I was uncomfortable about some of his stunts. Even if animals aren't aware that you… — David Attenborough