I often wonder how my tweets are going to sound when read aloud at my future divorce hearing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If God Was A Woman.... Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on the cheek — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Girls with no ass probably typed LMAO wayyyy too many times on Facebook. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you should give up¦¦ it does mean you should try harder! — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Occurs where a man gets hooked by his own line; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Men never throw sticks at trees that do not have fruit on them — Nikhil Saluja Trees Copy Share Image
If mom was here she would be subtweeting all over the place stuff like : who's gonna buy groceries : who's gonna… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The rarest sight in the world is a woman who is happy with photographs of herself. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Whats one thing that all women have in common? They all moan in the same language. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My therapist thinks I'm a drama queen. OMG! She totally hates me! — Nikhil Saluja Drama queen Copy Share Image
Girls like cats because cats are assholes and girls love assholes. Its fucking science. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE LICENSE, is the only permit taken out after the hunt is over — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
If you ever want to test someone's patience, give them a laptop with a slow internet connection. — Nikhil Saluja Internet connection Copy Share Image
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When You can't even remember your second cup. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The magic button to get a woman to behave for at least 20 minutes is called a clitoris. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? Honey, I'm home. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
KISSING, While, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Why are their so many women on twitter? So you are telling me ALL the dishes are done? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
